Tag: disability

When kids ask questions about my disability

youshouldgoanyway

Kids can ask embarrassing questions. Having muscular dystrophy you start to get the questions about the same time you start to walk funny. I find it happens most often in the grocery store when the kids are strapped in cart with nothing better to do than look, point, and say, “Mommy, why does he get to use that car to go around the store?!?”

Naturally the mom is usually really embarrassed but personally I take no offense when a kid asks a question about something that is new or different to them. It’s natural. They don’t know the answer. Often the parents don’t even know the answers. It’s uncharted territory.

I am never offended, put off, or angry when a kid (or even an adult) asks me questions about my disability or muscular dystrophy. If you do get offended, get over it. You’re going to have to deal with it for a long time so you might as well educate people instead of make it seem like everyone with a disability has a chip on their shoulder.

Whenever a kid asks me a question about my disability, I take it to be a teachable moment for both the kids and the parents and it’s very easy to do and here’s how.

1. Smile.
This is so important because it puts everyone at ease and shows immediately that you are not offended by the question.

2. Put your answer in terms the kid will understand.
I usually just say, “Well my legs don’t work the right way so I have to use these wheels to get around instead of walking.”  Most of the time I don’t even get a follow-up question but sometimes you get a really inquisitive kid who just wants to know everything. Fortunately the parent usually tells the kid they have to go and the conversation ends there.

3. If the parent apologizes tell them it’s not a big deal.
This is the teachable moment for the parent. I think curiosity in kids is a great way for them to keep learning. I’d hate for the interaction to be an opportunity for the parent to inadvertently teach the kid it’s not okay to ask questions, when it is.

After a while of dealing with the questions you eventually get your stock answers. There are times when someone will ask something I’ve never been asked before but those times are much more rare now. So have fun answering the questions now that you now how!

Strangers like to help

youshouldgoanyway

I have never been refused help by a stranger. Someday it might happen but that will only drop the percentage down to 99.99%. Whether it has been asking for help opening a door or reaching something from a high or low place, strangers are a big asset when out in the world.

I used to be afraid to ask strangers for help but this changed on day when I was out training with a friend of mine for an upcoming wheelchair tennis tournament. We were packing up and the hatch on the back of my minivan was not closing automatically like it was supposed to. We started trying to swing bungee cords up there to get the hooks to latch on so we could pull it down, but that was highly unsuccessful.

After several minutes of this two people going to play tennis walked by and my friend stopped them and said, “Hey could you help us pull down that hatch? It’s stuck.” Without hesitation one of the guys did it, made sure we didn’t need anything else, and was on his way with our gracious thanks.

What struck me about this incident was that my friend didn’t think twice about asking for help. At the time I might have tried several more times myself and hoped someone would see me struggling and offer help. People occasionally will offer if they see you struggling but it’s much more effective to ask strangers for help if you need it. You probably won’t be turned down and let’s face it, they probably feel better about themselves after they’ve helped you out.