Category: Family & Friends

Laugh when someone forgets

youshouldgoanyway

When you go from walking to using a wheelchair it’s easy for people to forget that you’ve made the transition, even as you’re sitting there right in front of them.

One summer while staying at my grandma’s house, I was planning a trip. We talked about how I might drive out to NYC instead of flying. Then I thought about taking the train and mentioned to her that it was only about a 15 hour train trip (or so).

“How on earth can you sit that long?” she asked.

I cocked my head, rolled my eyes, and within a few short seconds we both burst out laughing.

That’s how I like to approach the instances when people forget. Some people, however, take offense in situations like that and it’s not healthy and not acceptable. People slip up all the time. It doesn’t mean anything. Laugh, and let it go.

My dead arm

youshouldgoanyway

My cousin Joe has labeled my right arm my “dead arm.” When he first said it several years ago, his mom, my aunt, didn’t think this was very nice. I didn’t care. He was eight years old and that’s exactly what he saw — my dead arm. He’s pointed it out several times, teased me about it, and is not intimidated by my dead arm.

The fact of the matter is that it’s not really dead. I just can’t lift it very high on its own. I use my left arm to help lift my right arm when I need to drink from a cup or eat or lift something. The arm just appears dead because it doesn’t appear to do all that much by itself.

But it does.

My dead arm can type. I am typing this right now with my dead arm. It can write. It can hold a cello bow and with help can make music. My dead arm can grip a tennis racket, and with momentum from my wheelchair side-arm a tennis ball to a 90% first serve percentage.  It can grasp onto anything. It can shake your hand. Most importantly, it can steer my wheelchair using the joystick.

As my cousin has gotten older, it’s more fun to tease him back about it. Over the summer I finally had an opportunity to say “Hey my dead arm might not be able to lift a drink by itself but if I use my other arm to help it, this dead arm can smack you upside the head!”

Lucky for him he didn’t wait around for a demonstration.

The friend that pushed me around Australia

youshouldgoanyway

I went to Australia with a good friend of mine from high school about the time I was struggling to walk safely outdoors but not using a wheelchair full time. I borrowed a manual wheelchair from a local vendor and we took it with us just in case.

Sure enough if we were going to see the sights efficiently I was going to have to use that chair and she was going to have to push it. On the very first day, within hours of landing, we were out exploring a local church. Naturally it started pouring rain!

There we were several blocks from the car and had lost our bearings. So she pushed me in the wrong direction for a short time before we realized we were going the wrong way. As huge raindrops fell on us we finally got back to the car and called it a day.

During the rest of that trip she pushed me everywhere including this super long ramp down at the Sydney Harbor that I think she’s still got sore calfs from.

All throughout this trip and even after when we got home and she had to push me around on occasion, she never made me feel like it was a burden to help. There are several stories we remember of help gone awry or situations where we just had to laugh. I’m so thankful that we had the opportunity to travel together and are still great friends today.