Category: Everyday Life

Use music to incrementally improve your mood

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Music has the ability to stir emotions. Sometimes the song itself creates an atmosphere of sadness or happiness or complete hysteria. Other times, the song is attached a sad, happy, or hysterical memory which makes us experience those motions all over again. Although it’s difficult to anyone to change their mood in an instant, I have found that creating a mood-changing playlist can do wonders to make me go from sad or depressed to happy simply by listening. Here’s how it works:

First, when you are in a normal mood, go through your music library and discover songs that evoke strong emotions or are attached to various happy and sad memories. You can gather as many songs as you like, but I’d recommend finding at least ten songs with varying degrees of emotional response attached to each one.

Next, order the songs from saddest to happiest or most depressing to most uplifting. If you find that your list weighs to heavily to one side or the other, revisit your music library. The goal is to find a list of songs that can incrementally go from sad to happy.

Now you’re set. Here’s how you use the list.

When you find yourself in a crummy mood or want to go from a blah mood to a better mode, find your mood-changing playlist. Scan the list for a song that matches your current mood. I like to start in the middle and if that song isn’t sad enough, then get sadder. If it’s not happy enough, move towards the happier songs until you find a good starting place.

Finally, when you settle on the song that matches your mood, press play and just listen. Hopefully, if this works for you, you’ll find yourself moving towards a better mood with each song.

The difference between living and existing

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Since a few years ago, I do a mini review on my birthday of the things I did in the previous year including the high points and low points, places I traveled, and even trivial things like what my favorite songs were. This time I did my usual reflection but also went through these 365 questions. One of the questions was, “What is the difference between living and existing?”

Overall I wasn’t feeling like my year from 35 to 36 was that fantastic. In fact, I felt like the highest point was my 35th birthday party, an ice skating party where I zoomed my chair on the ice, pulling my skating friends and relatives around the rink. After that, I had kidney stones & surgery, a period of high anxiety and no client work, and a variety of other uncertainties that came up along the way. So in hindsight it definitely seemed like that party was the high point, and it probably was.

But when thinking about “living” vs. “existing,” I realized that even though my year wasn’t super spectacular, it meant I was still living. I was taking chances, doing things that other people in my situation don’t do. I was still traveling, working, and doing new things. Even the low points taught me lessons that others might never learn. I learned to drink more water and I learned that I need to do a better job of networking and marketing my business. Now I can act on those lessons and hopefully make 36 to 37 a transition upwards.

Despite the stresses and frustrations, I wasn’t just existing. My frustrations came about because I was doing things, living life. These frustrations are so much better than those that come to other people who aren’t doing anything at all. To me, simply existing means waking up and doing the same things over and over and over and over again without wanting to do anything new, or trying to change, or wanting to change but not doing anything about it. I think a lot of people (with and without disabilities) live this way and it’s unfortunate.

So what do you do to make sure you’re not just “existing?”

Excuse me, are you okay to drive?

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I used to walk like a really good drunk, even when I’d had nothing to drink. A friend of mine claims I actually walked more normally when I was drinking!

In my early 20s there were several occasions when a stranger would ask me if I was okay to drive. This never bothered me. I looked at it as this person being genuinely concerned. After all, I wasn’t wearing a sign with my medical history on it — so I’d probably assume the same thing.

Combining my awkward & precarious-looking walk with the fact that I needed help getting up from a chair and often had to grab someone’s shoulder for support, how could I blame ANYONE for thinking I was drunk? After all, I wasn’t using a cane or anything at that point.

So instead of getting irritated by it, I would just complete the act and whip out my keys. Not surprisingly this increased the level of anonymous concern from strangers!

The evolution of my mobility

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A few weeks back I was rolling to my favorite coffee spot and hit a long stretch of sidewalk. Along this stretch I encountered what was essentially the progression of my mobility, all lined up in a row.

The first guy I passed was a slow and funky walker. It looked like each precarious step would be the last before he’d fall on his face. I remember those days.

The next guy I passed was using a cane. Although he looked slightly more nimble than the last guy, the cane seemed to be working really hard.

In front of him several yards was a homeless man pushing himself in a wheelchair, one foot dragging (or helping…I wasn’t sure). He was struggling a bit on this very flat surface. It reminded me of the day or two I spent trying to push myself around in a clunky manual chair.

Once I realized my arms were not strong enough to push my body around in a manual chair I went through a period of having someone push me around. Believe it or not, the next person I passed was an old lady being pushed, it appeared by her daughter, in a manual wheelchair.

As I breezed past all of these people in my power chair, I realized how valuable it is for me to be able to have the mobility I have now. Part of me wishes I had started using electric mobility sooner, but the other part of me knows that without the struggles of the transition, I might not appreciate what I have now.

Safety and vigilance

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I come from a family of worriers. They worry more about me than I do. While this drives me crazy, I realize it comes from the right place. However if I worried as much as they do, I’d never go out and do anything. As a disabled person, it can be worrisome to go out and experience life sometimes, but I’ve found the ability to do this using a few different strategies.

1. Be careful

This might seem obvious, but many people I know are not careful at all. They don’t pay attention to what they are doing. They make risky decisions. They generally aren’t focused on maintaining their well being. If you make the decision to be careful, then it’s possible to always be “better safe than sorry.”

2. When dealing with cars, make eye contact with the drivers.

There is no more effective way to communicate with a driver than to make eye contact. If you make eye contact with a driver, you can be assured they see you. I always make eye contact when crossing a street, rolling past a driveway, or navigating  a parking lot. Absolutely do not assume a driver is going to stop. Sometimes it’s easy to assume a driver is going to stop because you would stop if you were them. But you have no way of knowing that they see you unless you make eye contact.

3. When dealing with people, use your instincts.

If you suddenly get that uncomfortable feeling about someone you see near you or ahead on your path, there is nothing wrong with making a detour, or even turning around. Do not ignore your gut. Your brain’s instinctive reaction to a situation might kick in at any time. Pay attention to it. Making a detour that costs you a few minutes is always better than getting into a situation that might be harmful.

4. Don’t take much with you and create a decoy stash.

If you worry about being robbed, then don’t take much along with you when you go out. Bring your ID and some cash and/or a credit card, along with your phone. If you are overly concerned about this then leverage the various pockets and things that you have on your wheelchair, if you use a chair, to hide your things. Put some money in a separate location. Then if someone says “Give me all your money!” then pull from this decoy stash and give it to them. Hopefully they’ll be on their way and leave you with your important things.

5. Be careful!

I reiterate this because your safety is more in your control than you realize! Make logical and safe decisions. Pay attention to your surroundings. Don’t go to bad parts of town by yourself and don’t go out late at night alone. Be careful!