Category: Everyday Life

Warmth is one of my life’s simple pleasures. Just now I came into my small home office after taking a break from work and the room was filled with the warmth from the small heater I left on. Immediately those chills I’d been feeling were gone. It made me comfortable and happy in a way only warmth can do. There are many sources of warmth in my life that make me feel this way.

Take for instance that warmth you feel when you get into a car that has been warmed by the sun while you’ve been shopping for groceries or working your job. For me, whether it is chilly outside or hot out, there is a moment where the energy from that heat envelopes me. I know there’s a point where I might start to feel too hot, but for those few seconds I am comfortable and it feels good.

There’s also the warmth from warm water. I have been known to drain a water heater while taking a shower. I used to enjoy warm baths and soaking in a hot tub. Feeling the water wrap around my arms and legs is like an instant boost of comfort and energy. I look forward to the day when I can easily take a warm bath again after I save up for a slide-in bath tub.

I also make sure it’s warm when I am sleeping. I often use an electric blanket on my feet or a down comforter even if it’s the middle of summer. I usually can’t fall asleep until my feet are warmed up significantly. This warmth makes it really difficult to get out of bed in the morning, but it also makes it impossible not to have a good night’s sleep.

Then of course there’s the warmth from people. This is both a physical and emotional warmth. It’s easy to forget how much warmth emanates from the human body until you feel it in a hug or those moments when you are physically very close to someone else. I also find that the warmth of receiving a compliment or a note or some endearing words can make me feel as though I am physically warm all over. It makes me feel that way to give those things to others as well.

So when it’s cold outside I think I appreciate the moments of warmth more than ever, and I guess that’s one of the things about life: You need to experience cold in order to appreciate warmth. I guess that’s why when I sleep I am fine if the air is cold. In fact, I usually have the air conditioner turned on just so I can use the electric blanket. It amplifies the feeling of warmth.

We all need to experience the negative in order to appreciate the positive. This is why after a few days of cold and rain, I know this weekend will feel so much better when it is clear, sunny, and warm.

It’s 47 degrees this morning and it’s almost the last week of May. This is wrong. As I woke up and got out of bed, I felt cold and heavy.

I’ve always had the sneaking suspicion that cold weather made my arms and legs feel heavier. When I was walking, it felt like climbing stairs in winter was usually more labored. Nowadays, moving around in the cold is noticeably more difficult than when warm. It’s not THAT much more difficult, but just enough to make me think it seems tougher. Combine that with the extra layers of clothing I have to wear when it’s cold out and it can be a chore just maneuvering regularly. It’s amazing what even a light sweatshirt can do to make my arms feel like I’ve got weights attached to them.

When the body is cold, blood flow to the extremities is reduced. This could explain why my arms and legs don’t move as well as they could. Blood flow to muscles is integral in performance. This is why athletes usually do “warm-ups” prior to athletic events.

People always ask me why I don’t dress more warmly when it’s cold out and it’s difficult to explain that I’d rather have cold arms that aren’t weighed down by three layers of clothes than not be able to move them to 100% of my ability.

I can’t wait until it’s back up to the 70s so I don’t have to be cold or answer that question anymore. Hurry up, summer!

Many years ago I composed a letter to some people in my life and one of the lines was “I am not my body.” I can’t recall where I’d heard that before but the statement helped me realize that as people we have physical bodies, but 99.9% of who we are is contained inside our heads. This made me feel much better about dealing with the physical ramifications of having muscular dystrophy. Sometimes it can be difficult to remember that we are not our bodies, we just use them.

Many of the commercials we see on TV are selling something that will make our physical appearance better — makeup, clothing, weight loss products, acne treatments, hair products, and more. It’s difficult to look at these commercials and refrain from judging ourselves based on our appearances. Throw in some of the physical things involved with muscular dystrophy and it’s difficult to exist without constantly wanting to physically function like everyone else, much less have the same nice clothes and shiny hair.

Our bodies are tools for us to use to exist, but consider this: What if you could exist as a just a head? Picture your head and another friend’s head on a table somewhere, and you’re just there talking. How different of a person are you now because you’re just a head? Even though you and your friend are just heads, you are still different from each other in the way you were before. How much of you has actually changed now that most of your body is gone?

Sure you will have some logistical issues to deal with, like “Who is going to carry my head around town?” but your memories, opinions, knowledge, and all thoughts are still occurring as usual. You can have a conversation with your friend and still agree/disagree about the same old things. You can laugh, feel happy, sad, depressed or energized. True, some of this manifests inside your physical body, but you process your experiences in this world through your brain, which is still in tact.

So next time you are just sitting around talking to friends or family, consider what is happening — you are communicating and enjoying each other’s company without even moving very much. In this situation, does it matter that maybe your arms are weak or your legs can’t walk anymore? Not really. You are still participating in life and relationships and you can find ways to be happy and enjoy it for as long as it lasts.

I was waiting impatiently for the elevator today and decided instead of getting upset I was going to let my mind go blank and try to “meditate” to avoid the frustration. Then I thought I should daydream instead. That’s when it occurred to me that when I have an occasion to just sit and “think” I am usually worrying about something and not daydreaming at all.

I know I used to daydream as a kid. I would think about the fun things I was planning on doing after I got home from school or make up some imaginary place to go to while bored in math class. But nowadays my mind will often jump to some immediate worry or irrational concern. Although I am fairly good at managing this, I wonder if this happens because I’ve conditioned myself over time to worry.

In high school I used to worry about logistical things like getting up stairs and up from my desk quite often. Again, it was not all-consuming but it was regularly enough such that it became a habit, and still is to some extent. I don’t really like it.

So maybe now is the time to start daydreaming again, whenever I can. Often I try to clear my mind but maybe I should mix in some daydreaming time as well. After all, if meditation is supposed to help reduce stress and make you feel better I would venture a guess that daydreaming is equally powerful.

So do you daydream or do you worry?