Category: Helpful Tips

Music has the ability to stir emotions. Sometimes the song itself creates an atmosphere of sadness or happiness or complete hysteria. Other times, the song is attached a sad, happy, or hysterical memory which makes us experience those motions all over again. Although it’s difficult to anyone to change their mood in an instant, I have found that creating a mood-changing playlist can do wonders to make me go from sad or depressed to happy simply by listening. Here’s how it works:

First, when you are in a normal mood, go through your music library and discover songs that evoke strong emotions or are attached to various happy and sad memories. You can gather as many songs as you like, but I’d recommend finding at least ten songs with varying degrees of emotional response attached to each one.

Next, order the songs from saddest to happiest or most depressing to most uplifting. If you find that your list weighs to heavily to one side or the other, revisit your music library. The goal is to find a list of songs that can incrementally go from sad to happy.

Now you’re set. Here’s how you use the list.

When you find yourself in a crummy mood or want to go from a blah mood to a better mode, find your mood-changing playlist. Scan the list for a song that matches your current mood. I like to start in the middle and if that song isn’t sad enough, then get sadder. If it’s not happy enough, move towards the happier songs until you find a good starting place.

Finally, when you settle on the song that matches your mood, press play and just listen. Hopefully, if this works for you, you’ll find yourself moving towards a better mood with each song.

I come from a family of worriers. They worry more about me than I do. While this drives me crazy, I realize it comes from the right place. However if I worried as much as they do, I’d never go out and do anything. As a disabled person, it can be worrisome to go out and experience life sometimes, but I’ve found the ability to do this using a few different strategies.

1. Be careful

This might seem obvious, but many people I know are not careful at all. They don’t pay attention to what they are doing. They make risky decisions. They generally aren’t focused on maintaining their well being. If you make the decision to be careful, then it’s possible to always be “better safe than sorry.”

2. When dealing with cars, make eye contact with the drivers.

There is no more effective way to communicate with a driver than to make eye contact. If you make eye contact with a driver, you can be assured they see you. I always make eye contact when crossing a street, rolling past a driveway, or navigating  a parking lot. Absolutely do not assume a driver is going to stop. Sometimes it’s easy to assume a driver is going to stop because you would stop if you were them. But you have no way of knowing that they see you unless you make eye contact.

3. When dealing with people, use your instincts.

If you suddenly get that uncomfortable feeling about someone you see near you or ahead on your path, there is nothing wrong with making a detour, or even turning around. Do not ignore your gut. Your brain’s instinctive reaction to a situation might kick in at any time. Pay attention to it. Making a detour that costs you a few minutes is always better than getting into a situation that might be harmful.

4. Don’t take much with you and create a decoy stash.

If you worry about being robbed, then don’t take much along with you when you go out. Bring your ID and some cash and/or a credit card, along with your phone. If you are overly concerned about this then leverage the various pockets and things that you have on your wheelchair, if you use a chair, to hide your things. Put some money in a separate location. Then if someone says “Give me all your money!” then pull from this decoy stash and give it to them. Hopefully they’ll be on their way and leave you with your important things.

5. Be careful!

I reiterate this because your safety is more in your control than you realize! Make logical and safe decisions. Pay attention to your surroundings. Don’t go to bad parts of town by yourself and don’t go out late at night alone. Be careful!

I’d imagine it’s the same for anyone dealing with a disease that there’s a feeling as though what’s happening to you is completely out of your control. I used to feel this way all the time. But over the years that feeling has diminished because I found ways to regain control, or at least the illusion of control, over my disorder. Sometimes it’s direct control, other times it’s control over something else. Here are a few suggestions on how to control what you can about your life and your disorder.

1. Decide to optimize what you have

It dawned on me one day that although my arms and legs are overall much weaker than normal, they still functioned. I could still exercise them and keep them moving. Most of the time your muscles are not working at their maximum potential. Getting them up to that maximum potential every now and then felt good. Whether you have a favorite set of exercises, or a sport, or go to physical therapy, there are ways to optimize what you have. The same is true for other areas of your life — your brain, your relationships, and of course your time. Deciding to push yourself and exercise whatever it is you want to optimize can help you feel as though you are optimizing your control.

2. Get on top of your health

Similar to #1, getting on top of your health is important. If you go in for regular checkups and tests can give you the knowledge about your situation that essentially makes you an “expert” on your own health. Feeling as though you are an expert about something can help you feel much more in control. If you have a good doctor, who cares, then it’s almost as if you’ve got yourself a team that’s completely aware of what is and what should be going on.

3. Schedule in some enjoyable activities

I’ve met many people who find it easy to play the victim. I’ve noticed with these people that they actually have very few, if any interests or hobbies outside of complaining to whoever will listen. Deciding to pursue your own interests is essentially a decision to spend your time in an enjoyable manner. Controlling your time this way can go a long way in contributing to your overall perception of control.

4. Plan something. ANYTHING.

I love to plan trips. I enjoy everything from wondering about where to go to finding a great deal on plane tickets to finding interesting places to stay. In doing this, I grab complete control of the trip and that moment in time. I have found that this shift towards taking the initiative can do wonders towards my overall sense of control. But you don’t have to plan a big trip. Planning a night out, a party, or a small get together can be just as effective. If you are in charge of planning something, then you are in control.

Controlling what you can, even if it’s not directly associated with your disease, can go a long way in perking you up and enhancing your overall feeling of well being. It’s important to know that I’m not suggesting you become so controlling that you start controlling people or situations in a negative way. Those things can lead to long term problems. But grabbing the reigns on your own life and your own decisions will have a strong impact on your life.

Standing up from bed can get difficult for several reasons. It’s easy to sink down when you’re sitting up, you can’t push off with much effectiveness, and sometimes your body just isn’t up and awake enough to power through the motion.

One solution is a bed hand rail, however sometimes they can get in the way when you are trying to get into bed or sit up. Another, much more expensive solution, is to get some sort of adjustable or motorized bed that can elevate a bit. If you are looking to get a new bed frame anyway, there are many styles of bed frames such as sleigh beds that can give you many extra inches right out of the box. If the frame is going to be screwed together you can also adjust it at construction time to boost the mattress platform higher.

I decided I didn’t want to spend the money on a new bed. So what I did was boost my bed onto cinder blocks so it was much higher. This made standing up from bed much easier. I simply bought enough blocks to fit under each of the supports and had some friends slide them in. Fortunately my bed frame did not have wheels so I didn’t have to deal with the bed rolling off the blocks. If your frame has wheels you will definitely want to get a different frame or have the wheels removed.

The only issue with having a higher bed is that getting into bed becomes more difficult. This can be remedied by using a small step stool if you need to get an extra few inches. I decided, however, that trading off the extra effort getting into bed was worth being able to get out of bed more easily. After all, in the morning I need all the help I can get to wake up and get going!