Category: Helpful Tips

Good vs. Bad Complaining

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Complaining: Call someone who cares.

In my experience, there are two types of complaining: good and bad.

Good complaining is the type that happens when something is not right and the complaint is properly directed. For example, if a building or store is not accessible, then complaining to the building manager is a great thing to do. Complaining to a property owner when there aren’t enough accessible parking spaces is great too. Basically any legitimate complaint that’s directed to people who can make things right is a good complaint.

Bad complaining goes like this: “Oh I am so weak all the time…boo hoo.” or “Poor me, I have to use this wheelchair.” Of course the “boo hoo” and “poor me” are usually not said by the complainer but might as well be. This sort of complaint does nobody any good, especially the person saying it. It reinforces a negative attitude, a victim mentality, and results in further frustration. Besides that, others hate hearing it all the time. It drives caregivers nuts and will cost you friends and sometimes family.

There’s also fine line between good complaining and bad complaining. For example, if you find yourself constantly saying, “That restaurant really needs a ramp! I hate that!” but never actually submit your complaint to the restaurant, then that’s a bad complaint. Personally, I am sometimes guilty of this sort of complaint myself. It’s easy to complain but sometimes the effort to complain to someone who can make  a difference seems like too much work even though it’s not usually that difficult.

The best way to stop yourself from making bad complaints is exactly that — STOP YOURSELF! When you hear yourself making a bad complaint, whether it’s a “Woe is me” or an undirected type of complaint, then take a moment to reflect on what you just said. Rephrase your self-pity to something more positive like “I’m so tired but I am going to go do this anyway!” or decide to take action on your complaint. It also helps to notice when other people complain. This can help you identify your own complaints better as well.

It doesn’t take as much time as you think to direct an undirected complaint. If you think a building should have a ramp call/write/email both the business itself AND the property owner/manager if you can figure that out. A quick email or call can take just a few minutes. Tip: In the past, I have searched my local property tax records (sometimes available online by county/city) to find building owners. You can also look for “Now Leasing” signs on other units if it’s a strip mall or office building and that’s usually the owner or property manager’s information.

Nobody likes a complainer, but if your complaint can make a positive difference then take action and complain all you want to the right people.

7 Tips to make cooking easier if you’re disabled

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Macaroni and Cheese Pizza

I went through a Rachael Ray infatuation stage about 5 years ago. I never could get one of her 30-minute meals done in under 30 minutes, but I learned a lot. At the time I was still walking so it was fairly easy to get around the kitchen. Navigating a kitchen in a wheelchair is definitely possible with the right setup, but my place has a dry kitchen area (no running sink, except in the bathroom) so I stick to basics. It’s easier to control what you eat and find a nice balance between prepared foods and healthier fare. Here are 7 easy cooking tips I’ve come up with along the way:

1. Paper plates / Plastic silverware / Plastic Cups

I don’t have access to a dishwasher but even if I did I don’t see myself wanting to deal with one. Washing dishes by hand is irritating if your arms don’t work well. I buy the bulk package of paper plates, bowls, and silverware from Sam’s Club and I’m set for months. I also have a huge package of disposable plastic cups for beverages and that works great too.

2. George Foreman is your friend

It’s super easy to grab a frozen chicken breast, steak, or fish filet and throw it on the George Foreman grill. The grill is fast, easy to clean, and healthy. It’s also simple to grill vegetables like zucchini and squash.

3. A toaster oven works wonders

If you don’t want to mess around with a big oven, a simple table-top convection toaster oven is easy to manipulate and allows you to leverage your arms on the table/counter to maneuver things in/out if you have trouble with your arms like I do. I can make personal pizzas (see #6) and bake things and make mini-versions of anything that usually requires a full oven.

4. Kraft instant macaroni and cheese + ?

Instant mac and cheese by itself is a bit plain, but super cheap (18 servings for about $6 at Sam’s Club). However, I have kicked up instant mac and cheese with anything from tuna to tomatoes to leftovers to chicken. One of my favorite tips is to drain a can of fancy soup and pour the guts (meats/veggies/etc) into a freshly prepared dish of instant mac and cheese. Then you’ve got something more substantial without having to chop meats and vegetables.

5. Eggs aren’t bad in the microwave

I like to scramble eggs, throw them in a disposable bowl and cook them in the microwave with pepper or other spices. Sometimes I even throw on some extra cheese. On occasion I will put a few strips of pre-cooked bacon on top and let it sizzle into the eggs. You can also make an easy omelet this way. Lately I’ve been putting a small tortilla into a bowl such that the tortilla becomes a mini-bowl itself. Then I just crack an egg into the tortilla and microwave until the egg is done to my liking. Throw on some cheese and spices and it’s a breakfast burrito in under 2 minutes.

6. Toaster oven pizzas are easy and can be healthy

I could eat pizza all day. This is one reason I like making individual pizzas in the toaster oven. I can make them with whatever I want and then I’m limited to eating just the individual pizza instead of a whole box of delivered pizza. I like to buy thin flat-breads like FlatOut to use for the crust. It crisps up quickly and is lower in calories than prepared pizza crusts. Then I just dump regular jarred spaghetti sauce on top, sprinkle some cheese and add whatever toppings I want. Leftovers make great pizza toppings too. I have made BBQ-pulled pork pizzas, leftover bratwurst pizza, and even macaroni and cheese pizza.

7. Instant coffee is fine with some doctoring

I like coffee but don’t want to mess around with a coffee pot or mugs. So I have a package of disposable hot cups and a jar of instant coffee. Then I add whatever flavorings, milk, or sugar I want to and I don’t have a coffee cup or pot to clean up. I simply microwave the water in the cup and I’m set.

Do you have any handy kitchen tips that might help out someone with a disability?

Get your wheelchair on a boat

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I had a great time the 4th of July weekend up at my aunt and uncle’s cottage in northern WI. Although their cottage was not particularly accessible (30+ steps down to the lake!) they did make arrangements for me to board their pontoon boat at a neighbor’s shoreline. The door off the front of their boat was much more than 30 inches wide so they just pulled straight up to the shore and we used the 7 foot folding wheelchair ramp that I carry in my car just for these occasions. The ramp bridged the gap from the land to the boat very easily and sturdily. It took less than 2 minutes and I was on board.

This is just one way to get yourself onto a boat. There are also many other options. In the past I have abandoned my wheelchair on the shoreline and been lifted via a fork lift onto a boat. I have also been carried onto a deep sea fishing boat as well as another family member’s pontoon boat one time when we didn’t have ramps available. My point is that if you would like to get on a boat but can’t physically climb on the boat yourself, you can still do it with a little help.

If you would like to own a boat, maybe you would want to get a custom ramp built. There are several companies out there who make custom wheelchair ramps for boats. Just search google and you can easily find them. I haven’t ever bought one so I can’t endorse one particular company over another. But anything is possible!

The time spent on the lake was relaxing, fun, and a great change of scenery. I could have easily said “No” to the extra steps they were proposing to get me on the boat but it turned out to be very, very easy.

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5 assumptions you should not make if you are disabled

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I find myself making assumptions all the time as a result of my disability. Sometimes it’s because I think I know the answer and don’t want to ask. Other times I just don’t want to go through the effort of researching an answer. There are also times when fear or a negative attitude can take over. Here are 5 assumptions you should not make if you are mobility impaired:

1. Assuming something is not accessible

It’s easy to assume from a picture or a Google map or a description that a place may not be accessible to you. For example, you might see a flight of stairs wrapping around the outside of a building and think “Oh that must be the only entrance. I’m not going!” However, you have no idea that an elevator might be just around the corner. If you have a question, call in advance. If you’re feeling adventurous, just go. Don’t miss out on doing something just because you assume the location might not be accessible.

2. Assuming something can’t be made accessible

There was an Italian restaurant around the corner from an apartment I was renting in Hawaii last year. It always smelled great when I would roll by. Unfortunately there was a large step at the front entrance. I made the casual assumption that I would not be able to go inside. Well, finally I decided I wanted to eat there and I discovered that the owner had a ramp made especially for wheelchairs and all I had to do was peek in and ask. The ramp couldn’t be placed outside all the time because it would have blocked the sidewalk. Of course it would have been nice if they built a ramp into the floor inside the restaurant, but the lesson here is that most times, adjustments can be made to make a place accessible to you. Just ask. If the answer is negative, then you don’t need to spend your money there anyway.

3. Assuming something is too difficult

This one still drives me crazy all the time. I often make an assumption about a work task that it will take much longer than it actually does. It’s the same with physical activity as well. Assuming something is too difficult is especially unfortunate because it’s a deterrent from even trying. I usually remind myself that unless I have physically tried it, I cannot judge that it’s too difficult. The other thing is that something might be difficult at first but it could get easier over time. For example, I usually find that it takes me a few weeks to get used to transferring into a new shower setup. After that, I figure out where all my hands and feet should go to make it as easy as possible.

4. Assuming there won’t be anyone to help you

How often do you go somewhere and you’re the only person there? I mean ONLY person. RARELY! Unless you’re creeping around dark alleys at 3 in the morning, it’s likely that there will be at least one, if not many more people wherever you are about to go. Many times when I was still walking, I needed help lifting something or picking something up off the ground. I also needed help on occasion to get picked up off the ground myself. If there is a slight chance that you could fall or need assistance, don’t let that prevent you from going out and doing things. Don’t assume you’ll be left on the ground rolling around without anyone there to help you. Help can swoop in from weird places when necessary. Do your best to be safe and go for it.

5. Assuming the worst case scenario

This is a trait that bugs me about many people I know. They assume the worst will happen. It’s not wise to assume the worst, nor is it wise to assume the best. But If you’re going to be un-wise, at least be positive. I like to set my sights somewhere to the positive side of the middle when planning for something whether it’s a meeting, an event, or even just a trip to the store. I hope and expect everything to go okay, but I am prepared to accept an unexpected challenge. No sense worrying about something that has not even happened to you yet. Getting this worst-case problem under control can be a huge benefit to your life and your outlook.

Do you find yourself making any negative assumptions? How does it impact you? Feel free to answer in the comments section.

Muscular dystrophy and bathrooms

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One of the best bathrooms I ever used as a wheelchair user was in the least likely of places — Costa Rica. I was on a day excursion while on a cruise with a few friends and we went to a botanical garden. Nestled amongst the tropical plants, flowers, and trees was a large green shack. The tour guide pointed it out as the restroom and due to the power of suggestion, I decided to use it immediately.

I rarely use the word “glorious” to describe anything but this really was a glorious restroom. It was a single-user bathroom that was one large 15×15 foot room. There were several grab bars around the toilet which was perched on an elevated block that made the seat about a half-inch higher than my wheelchair. I could roll right under the sink and the paper towels were at lap level, so I could reach everything with ease.

Unfortunately not all bathrooms are like this. I do have a few recommendations to make using restrooms easier for those of us with muscular dystrophy.

1. Look for the family bathrooms

The family bathrooms are usually very large and their are counters for putting things down. Most new facilities that expect large numbers of families to visit (malls, arenas, theaters) have these family bathrooms. Don’t be afraid to use them even if they don’t have the wheelchair symbol on them. I use them all the time. Moms with strollers use our elevators all the time, we can use their bathrooms.

2. Bring a bottle

If you pack a backpack or a bag that you usually have with you or on your wheelchair, a bottle can be helpful for the males of the species to be able to use the toilet without having to transfer just to go #1. In my experience it’s much cleaner and of course, drier. Additionally this can be helpful to have on hand if a bathroom stall is not wide enough. If you absolutely have to go then you can use the bottle and dump it or seal it and dump it later.

3. Carry a few wet naps or a mini bottle of hand sanitizer with you.

Many times I find that the counters in public bathrooms are dripping wet. I usually need a little bit of leverage to reach the water knobs and touching wet counter tops in public restrooms is gross to me. I also find that sometimes the levers for reaching the hand towels are too high or require more arm strength than I have. To get around this, I usually carry a bottle of sanitizer with me in my wheelchair pocket. Then I can skip the sink and life is easier.

4. Know your bathrooms

If you find a bathroom that is particularly easy for you to use, make a mental note of it. Then next time you’re in the area or at the same facility, you’ll know right where to go without even thinking about it. There are some great bathrooms (and some horrible ones) at the big mall in Honolulu. Whenever I am there I know exactly where to go so I don’t waste my time in crowded or less-than-perfect restrooms. Often there are times when I’m not at the mall but in the area and I have to use the bathroom. If it’s convenient, I will just go to one of the nearby mall restrooms.

So until humans magically evolve into beings that don’t need to use the bathroom, dealing with bathroom issues will always be a necessity. Feel free to share your tips in the comments section.