Author: youshouldgoanyway

Busy is good

youshouldgoanyway

I realized I was delinquent with posting during the last few weeks and thought about how priorities get spread around when I’ve got a lot on my plate. Right now, I’m split between staying on top of the blog, getting work done for clients, and constantly looking for new work opportunities. Toss in hobbies and hanging out with family, and my schedule fills up quickly. It also didn’t help that the U.S. Open has been on virtually nonstop the last week or so! For me, there are two ways to look at being “busy” — you either love it or you hate it. I think it’s much easier to love being busy but I’ve only recently come to think this way.

First, busy means you’re doing a lot of things. If the alternative is sitting in front of the TV all day, then there’s no contest — it’s better to be busy. Whether it’s work or appointments or cleaning or personal time, busy always feels better to me when I’m in the moment. Thinking about being busy is not such a great feeling, however, which is something that holds me, and others back.

For example, when I think about being busy in the future, I don’t like the feeling that arises. It’s a feeling of being overwhelmed or scared of all the things that could possibly go wrong even though nothing has even started yet. This feeling is a big deterrent when it comes to taking on new responsibilities, jobs, clients, and even hobbies. But when I think about the times I was busy in the past, it feels good. I recall being productive, and happy. While being busy, the feelings are mixed between feeling overwhelmed, but also productive. These feeling flip flop back and forth and stay in check, at least for me. But what’s important to me is how I feel at the end of the day. I feel much better at the end of a busy day than I do at the end of a day when I haven’t accomplished anything.

Another benefit of being busy is that I don’t think as much about the worrisome things. Whether it’s something that’s bothering me or something coming up in the future, I just don’t have time to spare worrying about how things might pan out or even how things went in the past. Being busy lets me stay in the right now, and I like that.

Finally, I think being busy is an indicator of progress — progress towards dreams and goals, for myself and others. Moving forward is always a good thing. I don’t move forward on days I do nothing.

The easy thing to do is laze around. But easy isn’t always the most satisfying thing. This is a tough lesson to learn because lazing can often include fun things like playing video games or talking on the phone or surfing the internet. But lazing isn’t satisfying to me and it shouldn’t be satisfying to you. It’s not as great as being busy. On that note, back to work!

Challenges are an opportunity for creative thinking

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I have fallen on my face more than a few times in my life. Prior to using a wheelchair, I would find myself on the floor a couple times a year. Since I lived by myself, there usually wasn’t anyone there to help me get up from the ground right away. My first instinct was always to scoot across the floor and get to a phone, which I did the first few times. But there came a time when I decided to challenge myself to get up off the floor on my own, somehow.

I looked around the room and asked myself, “What can I use to get up off the ground?” Within a few seconds I spotted a pile of books and binders. I also spotted some pillows. Fortunately I had a little rolling office chair right next to me that I could stand up from on my own. So all I had to do was get my butt up high enough so I could scoot onto the office chair.

One thing I can still do now is lean my body such that one side of my butt lifts off the ground. This proved to be extremely valuable in this situation. I decided that if I could lean enough to one side, I could shove a book underneath the side of my butt that was off the ground, then lean back onto the book and instantly be higher off the ground. Next I could lean to the opposite side and slide another book under the other side.

Pretty soon I was sitting on a pile of binders and books a foot off the ground and I’d run out of books. That’s when the pillows came into play. I just needed a few more inches and I could scoot onto the chair. So I did the same thing with the pillows — lean my body and shove a pillow under myself.

Although the books were sliding a bit and the pillows weren’t very even, I did get my butt up high enough to scoot onto the office chair and finally get back up on my feet.

The process took about 30 minutes or so, which seems ridiculous, but it was a valuable 30 minute lesson I remember to this day. If I am ever presented with a challenge, I look around (physically and mentally) and see what I have available to me to overcome the challenge. Then I think of creative ways to use these tools in combination with my skills to solve the problem. This can be applied to anything from actually falling on your face to solving problems at home, work, or school.

Try it sometime and see what you come up with.

Finding the right support group

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A support group can do wonders to help you feel less alone when dealing with a disorder like muscular dystrophy. For some people, traditional support groups are great. These are usually support groups created by organizations that already focus on a particular disorder. For others, support can be found in a variety of places, both related and unrelated to your disorder. Here are some tips about support groups and how to find one that fits you.

Traditional support groups, in my experience those facilitated by the Muscular Dystrophy Association, can be a valuable way to meet others going through the same thing. These support groups also foster social activity and provide information related to the disorder and activities/events outside the scope of a disorder. After all, a support group does not have to revolve around a disease 100% of the time.

Along those lines, sometimes a support group only has to be indirectly related to what you’re going through in order to be effective. For me,  the wheelchair tennis community became a great support group even though that is not the intent behind competitive wheelchair tennis. It’s just a bonus. Being able to see others dealing with disability in a positive manner is incredibly empowering no matter what the setup.

A third type of support group is the group that has nothing to do with disorders or disability whatsoever. This could be an interest group, or a dining group, or a church group. Sometimes the support you need can come from people who aren’t even familiar with your condition. After all, there’s a human element of support that we all need to get along.

Lastly, there’s the online support group. This sort of group can take any of the above forms but you participate in it online only. I have met several people as a result of starting this website and have only ever communicated with them via emails or online postings. This sort of support group can be a nice virtual network to fall back on when you’re just sitting at home and want to be connected.

Overall, finding the right support group is like finding the right pair of shoes. You can try out however many you need to, see what fits, and then go with whatever is most comfortable and beneficial to you.

If you think you’re not good at something…

youshouldgoanyway

…have you even ever tried?

How often have you marveled at someone who could do something creative or spectacular like paint a picture or write a song or play an instrument or sew a dress or build a motor or _INSERT AMAZING THING HERE_?

I know I have, and still do, all the time.

How often have you also thought, “Wow, I could never do that” or “I’d never be good at that?” I know I’ve done that too.

But the fact of the matter is, many people say things like that but have never actually tried to do any of the amazing things they admire. I’ve done (or not done) that too.

Who do you know that comes home from work and starts writing music or paints a picture? Very few people actually do this and sadly, few have even ever tried.

This is a "painting" I made one day in Photoshop. I actually ended up liking it enough to have it printed and framed and it's hanging in my house, reminding me to try new things.

You don’t have to be Picasso to paint. You don’t have to be Vera Wang to design a dress. You don’t have to be Paul McCartney to write music. You don’t have to be Shakespeare to write a story. Anyone can do any of these things any time, you just have to be willing to try.

You could write a song right now. Go for it. Just make up a melody and sing some words. It can be ANYTHING. Kids do it all the time. Record it if you want to.

You could write a short story right now. Go for it. Make up a character and a setting and put on paper what that character is doing. It can be a few sentences, paragraphs, or even pages. You could even just say it out loud.

You could design a dress right now. Go for it. Draw a dress on a piece of paper. Color it in. Bingo. There’s your dress.

You could paint a picture right now. Go for it. Grab a piece of paper. Take out some paint if you have it, and if not, take out the ketchup and mustard from your fridge. Use your finger if you don’t have any brushes. Or if you are familiar with Photoshop or a similar program (this one’s online and free), open it up and “paint” something virtually. Sign your name on it when you’re done.

The best part is that none of the above has to be good, great, legible, or pretty. First tries rarely are great.

And who knows, maybe your first try will be great. If not, practice and try again. Practice will make you competent at virtually anything.

Then after you’ve tried a bunch of things, or the same thing over and over again, you will look back and be amazed with yourself like you were with other people.

My accessible travels: Christchurch, NZ

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Yes, I am posting a lot about New Zealand when I talk about my travels. I circled New Zealand in 2009 on a cruise and stopped in several ports that are all worth mentioning individually. The next stop is Christchurch. As you may recall, there have been several major earthquakes in Christchurch in the last year. These quakes have done tremendous damage to the city and the people. When I was there in 2009, here’s what the cathedral in Cathedral Square looked like this:

Cathedral Square 2009

After the most recent large quake, however, this cathedral looked like this:

After the earthquake

When I was in Christchurch I spent the day going from church to church as a way to get around the city. Unfortunately as the pictures started coming in from the earthquake, I noticed many of the churches I’d photographed in rubble. Here’s another amazing church from Christchurch when I was there:

Catholic church in 2009

And here’s that same church after the earthquake:

After the quake

One of the things about traveling and getting out of your bubble is that you actually start to care about the places and people you visit with a depth much greater than simply those moments of “feeling bad” when you hear news reports. Although the feeling isn’t as strong as those living there are experiencing, there’s a stronger empathy that’s only understood if you’ve ever actually been to the place. It’s an empathy I wish we automatically had towards all places and people on earth.

During my time in Christchurch I cruised about the city on my wheelchair after getting a taxi for myself from the ship into town. It’s actually a bit of a drive from the port to the town and hiring a private taxi is the best way to get there if you use a wheelchair. Just make sure you arrange to be picked up EXACTLY where you got dropped off so there is no confusion. My driver told me to meet him about a block from where I was dropped off and his description of the location was somewhat off! Thankfully I spotted his van just before he was going to leave.

Here are a few more pictures of Christchurch from my trip in 2009. I am not sure how these other buildings and monuments fared in the earthquakes. You can find out here about recovery efforts and donate to the recovery online as well.